See it to believe it

If you'd told me at the start of the football season that TCU would be in the Top 5, that Notre Dame with its easiest schedule in 5 years would go 6-6, that Boston College would have eight wins, and that among the Heisman candidates would be a man from Stanford, I would not have believed you.

And yet here I stand (well, technically I am reclining, but you get my meaning) a changed woman.

Let me first say that I am confident tomorrow I will awaken to a new era of Notre Dame football that features God as head coach, Jesus as the offensive coordinator and the Holy Ghost running defense. Barring that, I'd at least like to imagine a world in which the quarterbacks coach for the Irish isn't the worst QB to come through the school in 20 years. And to be fair, Ron Pawlus may be the best coach ND has, considering their defensive performance this evening and their remarkable inability to win games this season.

Now then, let's talk rivalry week.

I enjoy this week of college football a whole lot, because every other school besides Boston College has an in-state rival to play. We? We get to play Maryland, because there is no other Division I-A football program in Massachusetts. If there is, I'd like to know about it.

But everyone else gets to play their most hated rival. For example, Clemson - South Carolina, Florida - Florida State, UCLA - USC. I always wonder about states where there are three or five schools with big football programs. Like, does it hurt one of those teams' feelings that they're not the one so hated that you finish the season with them?

My other favorite part of rivalry week are the weird names of the games. Like, for example, Mississippi State and Ole Miss meet in the EGG BOWL. Why? I think it must have to do with the golden egg that's given to the winner, but I'm unclear on why you would give the winner of a football game a golden egg. We may never know.

Here's another amazing one -- in Utah, Utah, Utah State and BYU play for the Beehive Boot, but the game between BYU and Utah is called The Holy War, which I find seriously hilarious. I'm curious whether the Mormons who go to the game actually call it the Holy War. But anyway, the Beehive Boot goes to the team with the best record in Utah.

Now that sort of makes sense because interestingly enough Utah is the Beehive State. Which actually makes me wonder whether Mississippi is maybe the Egg State. I'll check it out and get back to you.

Check out the Beehive Boot (it's a real pioneer boot!):



But what everyone wanted to talk about today was the Heisman race.

The big question on everyone's mind is whether Tim Tebow will win it again. Amazingly, this hasn't come up all season. He hasn't even been on the lists. And now all of a sudden, the guy's back in the race, even though he hasn't put up the same numbers as he did two years ago or even last year.

Two thoughts on Tim Tebow.

I cannot take seriously a man who wears things like THIS to a football game.

There was a time when eye black was to keep the sun from hurting your eyes. Now, it's apparently for proselytizing. Also, this is what Romans 1:16 says, if you're curious:

¹⁶I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile.

I have NO idea how that is connected to a football game. None.

And I will not take seriously any sports Web site that allows this headline on the front page of the site:

Sure, his stats stand out, but it's Tim Tebow's generosity of spirit that fans will cherish.

Generosity of spirit? This is football, people. I am a great lover of college football, but I will not have it described in such a way. Not on my watch, ESPN.com.

Anyway, now everyone is high on Toby Gerhart from Stanford, who lit up Notre Dame today in the fourth quarter. He's very good. He's also named Toby, but since he's so good, I'm going to let that part slide. But do you think Toby is short for something? And if so, what?

He's got great stats and I think his last few games of the year have cemented him in the running for the Heisman.

But my bets are on Colt McCoy, who although he has remarkably googly and vaguely Tyler Hansbrough eyes, is a great QB who is putting up great numbers. And he's had that sad little look for a couple years now, since he keeps getting beat out by people like Tim Tebow and Sam Bradford. Also, I feel like Colt McCoy is like a 9th year senior or something, his name has been thrown around for so long. Maybe if he wins the Heisman we can finally get rid of him.

That's all I've got tonight. Except that I went to see The Blind Side today and while it's super cheesy and predictable, it's also wonderful. Anyone who feels as deeply about sports movies and the power they have to make you cry and then make lists of life goals should definitely go see this movie.

NO HELMETS

Proof that they don't have to look smart, they just have to look hot.

Jordan Shipley, WR for Texas and Colt McCoy's roommate.

NO HELMETS

Violence is not the answer

This should help my mom stop worrying about my brother's football-related anger management.

I mean, he gets mad, but I don't think Brian would EVER punch Jimmy Clausen in the face.

Mostly because I'm pretty sure that Jimmy Clausen is the best thing that the Irish have going for them.

NO HELMETS

NO HELMETS

If you can get past the fact that this man was born in 1988 (it always horrifies me when I discover that these kids are just that, kids), and that I'm pretty sure he's rocking adult braces right now, then let me introduce you to Robert McClain, a UConn Huskies senior team captain.

I would love to have a better photo for you, but as you can imagine, until they beat ND there wasn't (and this probably continues) much interest in the mighty UConn football squad.

I feel like I'm being punished, but I don't know what I did wrong.

My friend Keith said this in reference to being a Steelers fan. I can't agree more.

I'm pretty sure I'm not even going to discuss the fact that Notre Dame lost to UConn. I will just mention, in passing, that UConn has only been a I-A team for about seven years. Just want to get that out there.

No screw it. Here is what I have to say. You can't let teams start thinking they can play with you. Basically, that's what ND does every single game. They start strong, and if they could just punch it in three or four times in the first half, then the Huskies would be on their knees and scared and wouldn't think they had a chance to come back.

Also, and I discussed this at length with my dad on Saturday, this is a top 5 recruiting class. Every year, Notre Dame recruits some of the top talent in the U.S. Yes, they have to read and they'll be expected to go to class and eventually graduate, and those who can't go to USC and Florida and those fine institutions. But you're still getting cream of the crop talent. And if you're such a bad coach that they look that defeated and sad and just generally NOT GOOD on the field, then just let them go playground. Let Jimmy Clausen run the team; let him call plays and say, Hey Golden, you wanna run this one? Hey Floyd, wanna run a wideout route and score a touchdown? They're obviously capable and this man is hindering their abilities.

Okay, I'm done.

I don't have much to say about the Boston College - North Carolina debacle except this: your QB can't throw five interceptions and get a win. It is pretty much statistically impossible. And if you do win, then wow your opponent must have been really really bad. Ugh.

So. Let's move on to teams that are decent and won't likely end up in the Emerald Nut Bowl.

I am no fan of teams playing patsies to warm up the season and pad the win column. I find it distasteful, even though I know that many of the teams I like do it. Still, if you're going to do it, I appreciate that it's done at the start of the year. For some reason, I think it's worse to wait until the end of the season and then suit up your #1 team with a Heisman trophy winning QB against Florida International. Yes, I'm talking about the Gators. I am also talking about #2 Alabama, which put a whooping on Chattanooga.

Seriously? I recognize the SEC is a tough conference to play in, and I recognize the guys are tired, and I further recognize that the SEC has a championship game (which I love, by the way). But I still think it's sort of crappy to prep your team for the championship game against some poor saps from FIU.

In other news, I think Oregon has run out of luck, and I think we might see a Civil War next Thursday (Dec. 3) that will blow our hair back. The Beavers are better than they've gotten credit for this season, and they traditionally enjoy nothing more than showing up and making fun of the Ducks' uniforms and beat them on a last-second field goal. And if they do, they'll go to the Rose Bowl. Anyway, either way I think it's going to be a hell of a game, particularly after Oregon only just snuck a win out against Arizona last night.

Oh man, I can't believe it's taken me this long to make fun of the LSU coach! For those of you who don't just sit home watching football all day, let me fill you in. LSU-Ole Miss. Not a game that matters really, but a decent game. And Ole Miss surprises LSU by sticking with the Tigers through the whole game. Anyway, the Rebels had the lead, 25-23, with about a minute remaining. LSU kicked the most textbook perfect onsides kick of all time and it went right into an LSU player's hands, and he got it down to the 42, and then they got down to like the 25 or so with no lie one second remaining.

So what do they do? They try to stop the clock to bring the kicking unit on the field by spiking, but spiking takes too long and the game is over and Ole Miss wins.

If you've got one second left, you have nothing to lose. Make a play for the end zone. And the LSU coach had literally no idea what to say in explanation of this bonehead play.

Here's a fun quote that I'm sure any QB would be pleased to see in the paper the next day.

"I felt like the quarterback could manage the situation. That was my mistake."

Geez, thanks for nothing, Coach.

I would discuss the Cal-Stanford game, which turned out to be a good one.

But really? I can think of no two teams I care less about than Cal and Stanford. Traditionally the only thing interesting about either school is their bands.

I'm not ready to let that tradition die.

NO HELMETS

If in fact Coach Mangino has been verbally harassing his players, let me say this to Todd Reesing, quarterback for Kansas.

I would love to verbally harass you.

NO HELMETS

Feeling overshadowed.

I love college basketball. Not as much as college football, but enough to continue paying 2/3 of the cable bill for another four months while allowing my roommate to enjoy the cable as much as I do.

And there's part of me that loves this time of year more than any other -- it's dark out pretty much all the time, you're completely justified to change into your pajamas at 7 p.m. and watch whatever sports are on TV, and there's no shortage of sports at all whatsoever.

But I can't help feeling that right about now, up until the bowl season, college football sort of falls by the wayside a little bit.

For example, this evening there was apparently a pretty decent game on between Oklahoma State and Colorado, of all things. The fact that the #12 team in the country nearly lost to Colorado is reason enough for me to stand up and take notice. Except I was at the old folks' home watching a college basketball game instead, and it was so good I totally forgot there might be a good football game on.

So I stand ready to hold football in your faces until it's over.

You know why?

When it's gone, and the long sport-desolate months of April through August stretch before you, you'll look back on these halcyon days and say, 'Thank God Sheila alerted me to the big fight happening in Kansas over that hugely fat coach.'

So let's hop to it.

Everyone's favorite giant, Mark Mangino (seriously I feel bad for the fans of this team, because he's a good coach but there is no way he's going to make it another five years the way he's going) is being accused of some coaching indiscretions at the University of Kansas, where he's made some headway in a quest to stop the Jayhawks from being just a basketball school. Here's what they say at ESPN.com:

Kansas athletic director Lew Perkins has launched an investigation into Mangino allegedly grabbing, yelling at and putting his finger in the chest of senior linebacker Arist Wright, who had been laughing during a walkthrough or practice prior to the Colorado game on Oct. 17, two people briefed on the situation told ESPN's Joe Schad on Tuesday night.

Since then, several former Kansas players come forward with allegations of verbal abuse.

Maybe I'm old-fashioned, maybe I'm just used to private schools. But I personally see very little wrong with this. Verbal abuse? Seriously? You're college football players. I'm pretty sure your whole adulthood has been based on verbal abuse. I remember exactly two coaches from HIGH SCHOOL who didn't verbally abuse us.

I guess I'm not saying it's right, but I certainly don't think a coach yelling at you because you aren't paying attention, even grabbing you, is unacceptable. It would be unacceptable if he were, say, punching you in the face.

I'm sort of on Team Mangino here. And I'm proud to be in the company of this little man, who I'm guessing is also on Team Mangino.



Wow, even as I write this I discover that I do not know the whole story. Let's check out this magic from www.deadspin.com.

Some (alleged) highlights:

"One day, [Mangino] said in front of the entire team, 'Are you going to be a lawyer or do you want to become an alcoholic like your Dad?'"

When confronting a KU player who had received a "minor in possession" ticket, Mangino told him "You'll be drinking out of a brown paper bag the rest of (your) life." Brown, who had a brother that was once shot in the arm, says that Mangino once said to him, "If you don't shut up, I'm going to send you back to St. Louis so you can get shot with your homies."

Lovely. Still, not sure this is anything worse than what you'd expect on most college football fields. And as Deadspin points out, all this comes out when the team is sucking, as opposed to last season, when they were 12-1.

So for the moment, I'd like to go back to Baby Mangino.



Feeling better already.

NO HELMETS

So I wanted you all to see some cute boys from TCU.

But I couldn't find any who weren't wearing helmets.

So here's this.

I think it's worth it just for the weirdness factor

Do I have to blog about TCU?

The first piece of college mail I got, probably in 1996, was from Texas Christian University. I did not apply to TCU, but I got a second chance to interact with this fine university in 2005, when after graduating from Columbia University I was recruited to be a sports reporter in Abilene, Texas. I was promised the following: a chance to cover big-time high school football in Texas, and maybe to get some college sports experience at TCU. I chose once again not to be a part of western Texas, partly because while looking at www.apartments.com, I discovered most of the housing there was mobile homes.

I am many things, but I am not going to live in a mobile home.

So it is with great pain that I write about the TCU Horned Frogs, who are currently ranked #4 in the country. They are undefeated, which is great. They destroyed Utah this week, and now all of a sudden people are saying the Horned Frogs are for real.

Do I think they could beat Florida, Alabama or Texas? Hmm. No.

But I never would have thought that Boise State would win the best college bowl game I've ever seen in my life a few years ago so what do I know?

I mean, I thought BC might be able to put the hurt on UVA, who lost to a Div. I-AA team earlier this season (and not even a good Div. I-AA team, but William and Mary!). And yet we very nearly lost.

And I also thought Notre Dame might beat Pitt.

Well, let's get into that a bit.

I had a talk with my dad, from whom I learned quite a bit about college football in my youth. He also happens to be a very big ND fan. But he also is the kind of man who, when the team starts to look like shit, turns to the Oregon game and tries to forget about it. When I was little, when ND started losing he would go out and mow the lawn.

There aren't enough lawns in the world this season.

Look, I think, individually, these are some great guys. Jimmy Clausen is one of the top 5 quarterbacks in the U.S., although his obnoxious little pinched face gets old. Michael Floyd is back, and he's spectacular. Golden Tate has the best name ever (better even, in my opinion, than the guy named Yourhighness who almost played at BC) and is a good runner. ND regularly has a top 5 recruiting class.

And yet, in talking with my dad, he made a great point: they get worse every week.

He's 100 percent correct.

When ND started the season, there was fire. They looked great. That is a thing of the past. Don't get me started on Charlie Weis's cocky, unacceptable decisions (like, for example, 3rd and 26 -- yeah, we should run the ball). I guess he learned it from the best -- if you were paying attention, ridiculous Bill Belichick decided it was a good idea to go for it on 4th and 2 at his own 28 with 2:08 remaining against the undefeated Colts. If he'd been right, it would have been epic. He was wrong, and that's why everyone is talking smack even though it's Monday. Kind of gets rid of that mystique.

Also gone is USC's dominance, apparently. The Trojans dropped their third this season, to what I can only believe is an incredibly underrated Stanford team. I told Dad, he of the mowing lawns, that I didn't remember the last time Southern Cal dropped three regular season games.

The answer? 2001. Kristen totally knew that.

Okay, that's all I can do right now.

Yikes

Look, I support the troops and everything.

And the Wounded Warriors Project seems like a nice thing.

But there's nothing cool or nice about these uniforms South Carolina wore to get beat up by Tim Tebow and the Gators today.



My first thought was this: hey, is that kid's last name really Integrity? That's wild!

Then I realized, no. Those are just the ugliest, most embarrassing uniforms in history.

How about you take the money you're going to spend on the embarrassing and ugly uniforms and donate it all?

It all hangs in the balance

Today's a big day to be an Irish fan. Now, I don't base my self-worth on Notre Dame football, because if I did I would have a hard time looking myself in the mirror on a week-to-week basis.

After last week's embarrassing loss to Navy, the Irish have three more games, and they could easily lose all of them. Today they're up against Pitt, next week it's UConn and finally Stanford.

Pitt is ranked #12 in the country, for reasons I cannot discern except that it's one of the few teams in the nation with one loss. That said, their loss comes to NC State, which features my least favorite coach in the world, Tom O'Brien (and that's saying something, since I have a lot of hate in my heart for football coaches across this great nation). It should be noted that NC State is 4-5. Anyway, Pitt has beaten every team in the Big East this season, along with, wait for it, Navy.

So there's that.

I happen to think ND will beat Pitt. But even if the Irish get that win, they've still got to get past UConn and Stanford, and I'm embarrassed to write that as if it's a challenge. Except that Stanford put up 50 points to beat Oregon, and UConn nearly beat Cincinnati a couple weeks ago.

Point is, most Notre Dame fans seem pretty well finished with Charlie Weis. They can either root for three more wins and a decent bowl game (I won't even get into the hopes of winning a bowl game) or they can hope for a couple losses here at the end of the season so Charlie's definitely out the door. Because if they finish strong, I could see the Irish giving Charlie another year. Or six.

On to other, more important parts of college football...

Who knew a game between Utah and Texas Christian would be so damn important? The game, which is usually an also-ran that plays on a Friday night, has big implications. Both teams are ranked and TCU is undefeated. Utah's beaten TCU the past three years, and while TCU is slated to beat up on Utah, I doubt that will happen. I'm guessing TCU stays undefeated but am hopeful for a close game. That said, is this game even televised? Ridiculous.

Finally, there's kind of an interesting game on mid-day between Iowa and Ohio State. I've stated previously that I am not convinced about the middle America teams' strength. Ohio State just hasn't looked particularly crisp this year, and I knew Iowa was going to go down eventually. But I think this game is interesting because whoever wins solidifies its spot in the Rose Bowl. Iowa lost its quarterback, but I think for the Hawkeyes, the pressure's off. They're no longer undefeated and I think that helps a team get back to basics. Anyway, no idea who is going to win, but I think it should be a decent game.

I will leave you with this, the greatest of all justifications for bringing back Oregon's LeGarrette Blount, who was suspended for the season after punching a Boise State player on national television during opening night of college football.

"We put a plan in place lot of academic and behavioral ladders and if he climbed them he would have the opportunity to be reinstated," Coach Chip Kelly said. "For him it's been a long road back but he fulfilled everything we asked him to do."

I would pay at least $500 to see that kid's mid-term grades.

A long road back it was not.

Catch the Fever.

In the immortal words of a guy I worked with in New Jersey: Rutgers football, catch the fever.

He didn't put an exclamation point after it, and I'm going to go ahead and assume that's because even Rutgers grads know the truth. But after the 31-0 romping the Scarlet Knights just laid on South Florida, I was slightly excited about the team.

I have an unfair disgust for Rutgers, because of two, interminable years working in New Jersey with two very overzealous Rutgers grads who were pretty psyched that in 2006, with the Big East missing Virginia Tech, Miami and Boston College, they pulled off a number of wins and were nationally ranked for much of the season.

One of those Rutgers fans may read this blog...so I will refrain from saying anything else, like the fact that the obnoxious banter reminded me in no small way of the kind of crap I've heard from Ducks fans this year.

Point is, it pains me to say it, but Rutgers looked pretty good tonight. Or more to the point, USF looked real real real bad.

Two other things to say:

1) Boston College vs. UVA this weekend. Let's be very clear. UVA lost to William and Mary this year. That's a Division I-AA football team, for those of you playing at home. If we lose, I give back all the money that I won from U of O fans last week.

2) Hey Tennessee football players. Aren't you kind of busy? Shouldn't you be too busy to go out and commit armed robbery? No? Hmm.

NO HELMETS

NO HELMETS

In honor of Stanford's big win yesterday over Oregon, let me introduce you to Andrew Luck, the freshman quarterback for the Cardinal.

He actually, I think, looks a little better in a helmet. But we'll take what we can get.

Who says there weren't any good matchups yesterday?

Yesterday I made a couple bold statements. One, I said there weren't many good matchups, and I apparently was wrong. I guess I figured that most of the Top 10 teams who lost or nearly lost yesterday were going to play like Top 10 teams. That was wrong.

Iowa lost, Oregon lost, USC only put up 14 points on Arizona State, Alabama squeaked by LSU, and Cincinnati and Boise State also had scares.

Let's start with Iowa's loss to Northwestern. The Hawkeyes were undefeated entering this game, but they'd looked shaky almost every week. They've played from behind for miraculous wins in several games this season. Someone was going to sneak up on them, and it happened to be, of all teams, Northwestern. Northwestern had a good run there in the mid 1990s. Since then they've been dreadful. And they're still dreadful, and Iowa made them look good. So that got rid of one of our undefeated teams.

Cincinnati remains one of the 6 remaining undefeated teams, but they had to put up 47 points to beat UConn, 47-45. A coach has to be concerned when UConn can put 45 points on your defense.

But what I'd really like to talk to you about is the Oregon Ducks. Now, I would like you all to quickly scroll down to the previous post, where I said Stanford would beat the Ducks. Give me a mental pat on the back, because I was right.

The Ducks found themselves in a classic situation -- you get a big win over USC, then you figure you're great and don't have to worry about a little team like Stanford. You are wrong. Stanford put up 51 points on the Ducks, a week after the Ducks put up nearly 50 points on USC. I don't understand how you score 42 points and fail to win a game. But I am pleased that the result is silent Oregon fans.

Finally, Alabama snuck past LSU. I don't know why, but I kind of like Alabama. Even though he's sort of slimy I think their coach, Nick Saban, is pretty cute, and I really like a team that has a tradition of wearing funny houndstooth fedoras into the stadium because Bear Bryant liked to wear them too. Like, seriously? I would love to be part of a school that in addition to wearing a bright yellow Superfan shirts, students were also expected to don men's hats for each game. That would be awesome.

Case in point:


I mean, I probably wouldn't pair my hat with knee-high boots, a skirt and a shoulderless top (who knew they made shoulderless tops? What purpose does the missing shoulder part serve?) but you catch my drift. Having a hat like that to wear to football games would be fantastic.

Anyway, Bama's win over LSU puts them in the SEC championship with Florida. It's probably our country's best chance of seeing Tim Tebow cry this year. So I'm officially rooting for the Crimson Tide.

One last thought: last night Clemson pulled out a win against Florida State. It was a good win, but it's not like Florida State was ranked #1 or the win means Clemson will play in the National Championship or something...which is why I don't understand why the student section stormed the field after the game.

Are you celebrating the fact that your team is now bowl-eligible? Because half the teams in the country are going to be bowl-eligible. I'm so confused.

Seriously?

Let's say for a moment that you're trying to catch up on sleep after a 13-hour work day on a Saturday morning. And let's say that well before the acceptable hour to call a person, someone you weren't even friends with in high school sends you a text to tell you he's getting off the train in South Bend and just wants to tell you so you'll be jealous. And let's say you're not jealous of a person you barely know going to the Notre Dame v Navy game, particularly since the score of that game is currently Navy 14, Notre Dame 0.

This is why I would like there to be a way to block people from calling you or sending you annoying texts at 8:30 a.m. Knowing me, that already exists and I just didn't know about it.

Whatever, all this is to say that Notre Dame is currently losing to Navy, and that is straight embarrassing for Notre Dame and all its opponents this season...

In other news, today's football just isn't that good. BC has a bye, Notre Dame is losing to Navy, and almost every team that matters is playing a team that doesn't matter. I think one of the only good games today is probably Ohio State v Penn State, and I believe that the middle America teams are highly overrated right now.

I mean, I watched Iowa this morning (after being awakened at 8:30 a.m. by an annoying high school classmate) and they had four turnovers in the first half AGAINST NORTHWESTERN. It was so ridiculous that I went to Whole Foods to do some secret shopping (and ended up spending like $100 on a bunch of stuff that doesn't go together, and a lunch bag -- this is my life). Now I look at scores on ESPN and am informed that Iowa, ranked #4 in the country, has lost to Northwestern. I'm sorry, what? I recognize every team has bad days, and yes, Iowa played with a backup freshman QB. But the #4 team in the nation should have a backup quarterback better than the Wildcats' starting quarterback.

Northwestern had 239 yards of offense. Not in the first half, no. In the whole game. This is a team that lost to Syracuse this season. Uncool.

Other than that, I haven't got much to say just now. However, I'm calling the upset -- Stanford will beat Oregon today.

NO HELMETS

As their team attempts to PR its way into a BCS game ...

Let me present to you a lineup of cute boys stuck living in Boise.

So it's come to this.

I almost don't want to post anything new so that I can always keep my open letter to U of O at the top.

Alas, all good things must come to an end.

So here are a few talking points you might enjoy:

The WAC has hired a PR firm to try to get Boise State a spot in a BCS bowl. Imagine how psyched the people Boise State employs as public relations officers and sports information directors are about this. And really? If PR works to get Boise State into a top bowl, then that will be pretty much straight proof that the BCS is crap.

Here's a Sports-o-Ween picture from Deadspin, my favorite sports blog. It perfectly sums up the way I think Tim Tebow gets treated. Tacky yes. But accurate, and amusing.


Finally, there was apparently some spat regarding dirty play during the Florida-Georgia game last weekend. And now this guy has decided it would be better if he were to suspend himself for a full game because of his nasty behavior. I'm guessing the dude just doesn't want to bother suiting up against Vanderbilt.

An open letter to U of O fans

Dear Duck Fans,

First, I would like to congratulate you for your commanding win over Southern Cal on Saturday. I really enjoyed it. In fact, I watched the entire thing because it was so fun to watch the USC defense get dismantled in the way I have long believed possible. You made the Trojans look weak, and also super classy (apparently tough competitors like Pete Carroll don't have to shake hands with the opposing team's coach after the game).

But let's get down to brass tacks: stop being assholes.

Seriously. Let's not forget what led to this victory. You opened up the regular season with a highly anticipated Thursday night game in Boise, in which you were embarrassed 19-8 and attracted a bit of negative attention in the form of your "star" running back punching an opposing player, his own teammate and attempting to go into the stands after a fan.

You then proceeded to make a big show of telling that "star" running back, and the media, that he was suspended for the remainder of the season. And THEN you decided to maybe reinstate him when you realized that he might come in handy in a BCS bowl.

So yes, it was a great win for the program. I mean, sure, the Washington Huskies beat USC already this season, and they were winless last season. But a big win, no doubt.

Here's the problem with the Ducks fans I am currently dealing with here in Oregon: you forget why you hate USC so much.

So let me remind you. You hate USC fans because they're cocky, because they think they're better than you, because they are sure that they'll beat everyone and are poor sports about it when they don't.

Right now? You're acting like them. Instead of basking in a good win, you're acting like you've always been this good, like your team is far superior to USC's. And frankly that's just false. You're a decent program, but statistically you're not doing so hot in the Trojans v. Ducks series... I mean, shit. You lost to USC 44-10 last season. And trust me, I'm not defending USC. I am no fan of the Trojans.

But until you have something to be really proud of, like a Rose Bowl win after 1917 (this is a fact), keep quiet. I'm not suggesting your string of trips to the Holiday Bowl isn't impressive. But maybe take a lesson from my playbook when I root for Boston College: I like to act continually amazed that we win any games at all. Humility will never come back to bite you.

And then win the next four games on your schedule so you're guaranteed a spot in the Rose Bowl instead of suggesting it's a certainty that you're going already.

Sorry. Just wanted to get that off my chest.

Sincerely,
Sheila